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RECORD PLAYER / / Why Floribama Shore is the Trash Fire you Didn't know you Needed

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One of my favorite things ever is a day at home doing projects, organizing and cleaning with trash tv blaring in the background. During one of these productive days I binged on MTV's Floribama Shore and let me tell you - it did not disappoint. 

Making fun of NJ is so overdone at this point (honestly we are glad for the reprieve - I got to roll my eyes at Joey Fatone in an elevator for making a NJ joke and it was an incredible moment) but I'd be lying if I said i didn't miss the shitshow that was Jersey Shore. I'm so siked to tell you that this show has filled that trashtastic void so perfectly. 

 Possibly my favorite character - Kortni has a natural stripper name, likes to pee everywhere and has to be held back by bouncers on multiple occasions. Be my BFF plz. 

Possibly my favorite character - Kortni has a natural stripper name, likes to pee everywhere and has to be held back by bouncers on multiple occasions. Be my BFF plz. 

Please observe this clip of pure class as they fight native Floridians and roll around in the street. I watched this at least 11 times because it is entertainment at its absolute peak. #DOLLARDRAFTBEERPEOPLE. Also more proof that Kortni is da real VIP.

Then there is this absolutely perfect clip of them dining in a fancy strip mall chain restaurant. PURE TV GOLD. #BOLOGNASE people! YAS!

Thank god there is a second season coming this summer because I don't think I could survive without seeing Aimee throw a bottle of mayo at someones face again or mispronounce perfectly normal words like corsage. 

Overall the dudes were pretty basic and douchey - I AM pretty interested in seeing Nilsa's faux feminist journey, maybe she will realize that 10 months without a dude after a divorce at 23 is GOOD FOR U BB. LUV U THO. UR LIKE REALLY PRETTY. JOSH WAS LAME.  WHO DID UR BOOBS CUZ THEY ARE PERF.

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No but really - this is a reality show thats actually worth the watch - I LOLed and I actually felt kind of heartfelt for these people. Ready for Season 2!


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Thanks to our contributor Angela for this post!

Angela is the other half of HOC. When she's not hovering over the Instagram or managing the website, she enjoys manicures, taking pictures of clouds & getting white girl wasted while watching Bill Murray movies. She is currently doing important Mobwife related research at the Jersey Shore.

follow her journey here @angelabasolis

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RECORD PLAYER / / MACKLEMORE & HIS GMOM

Yo we have a serious soft spots for grandma's here at HOC. Personally, I can not wait to be a sassy old lady who get morning drunk and says crazy things (basically, Lucille Bluth). This Macklemore video where he takes his nonna out for her 100th birthday is the cutest thing we've ever seen. 

Here is my Mom Mom in her fav HOC Sunnies : )


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brought to you by ange

 

Angela is the other half of HOC. When she's not hovering over the Instagram or managing the website, she enjoys manicures, taking pictures of clouds & getting white girl wasted while watching Bill Murray movies. She is currently doing important Mobwife related research at the Jersey Shore.

follow her journey here @angelabasolis

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Record Player / / Jurassic World Memes

So you're probably like, 'hey Jurassic World came out last week like way to do a blog post all late and shit' but the truth is the internet is losing its mind in the best way possible after the premiere.

I've rounded up the best of the Jurassic World Internet Love into this nifty blog post. Enjoy!

No seriously, if we covered songs like this when we were playing recorders in 4th grade I would pretty much be on a totally different life path right now.

When Vines are Life

Obviously, because this is the internet. This person is a literal genius and replaced dinosaurs with cats and made a bunch of them. See More Here

And then this amazing parody video that pulls them all together.

Jeff Goldblum. Enough said.

Need More? Shop Glamosaurs

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Record Player / / Netpix: Summer in the City

As New Yorkers leave The City in droves to escape the coming heat, we are braving the weather. Here are our Summer in the City Netpix to help you remember why NYC is the Best City Ever, Regardless of the Season. 

Breakfast at Tiffany's

 Featuring one of the classiest walk of shames ever, Audrey epitomizes the glamour of NYC life. 

Featuring one of the classiest walk of shames ever, Audrey epitomizes the glamour of NYC life. 

Manhattan

 The opening to this movie alone will make you remember why you love NYC

The opening to this movie alone will make you remember why you love NYC

Francis Ha

 An awesome testament to the art of finding your purpose in this wild place

An awesome testament to the art of finding your purpose in this wild place

Bill Cunningham: New York

 Totally inspirational movie about NYC icon and the original street style photog Bill Cunningham.

Totally inspirational movie about NYC icon and the original street style photog Bill Cunningham.

Broad City

 OK not a movie, but seriously one of the best NYC shows everrrrrrrr. 

OK not a movie, but seriously one of the best NYC shows everrrrrrrr. 



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Record Player / / Stevie Nicks Gypsy Queen

  Antique Lace  is always a classic summer look. Effortlessly chic and demurely sexy. Let your hair dry naturally with a hint of frizz serum for curly volume. 

Antique Lace is always a classic summer look. Effortlessly chic and demurely sexy. Let your hair dry naturally with a hint of frizz serum for curly volume. 

 

Rock On GoldDust Woman!!! Happy Birthday to one of our Fav Gypsy Style Icons, Stevie Nicks. Check out some of her Best Style Moments and Raddest Live Performances Below, along with our take on her Iconic Gypsy Look. 

  Timeless shades  paired with layered vintage necklaces. 

Timeless shades paired with layered vintage necklaces. 

  Shop Visors  for an easy sunday afternoon vibe

Shop Visors for an easy sunday afternoon vibe

  Onesies  are the city version of running around an island in a one piece. 

Onesies are the city version of running around an island in a one piece. 


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Record Player / / NetPix

This week we talk our NetPix with Most Admirable Women. All of these movies & series have awesome women characters who are funny, strong and determined to get what they want...despite some setbacks on the road ahead. Perfect for Girls Night Netflix Marathons. 

In A World

Vocal Coach Carol Soloman lives in the shadow of her father Sam, Hollywood's go to movie trailer voice, as she tried to break into the field herself.

Francis Ha

Determined to make it as a modern dancer in New York, a young woman pursues her unlikely goal with more enthusiasm than natural talent. NYC Classic.

Unbreakable Kimmy Scmidt

This new show from Tiny Fey is slowly replacing the hole left n our hearts by 30 Rock. When a woman is rescued from a doomsday cult and lands in NYC, she must navigate a world she didn't even think existed anymore. 

Walking and Talking 

Amelia and Laura have been best friends since childhood, but for the first time they must try to adjust when their lives take different paths.

Garfunkle & Oates 

Two hapless, twenty something women single women try to make it as a duo performing satirical songs about their personal and professional lives.

 

 

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Record Player / / Zoolander

Zoolander is one of the most On Point Fashion Docs of all time.

Here's Some Crucial Life Lessons we Learned from watching this Cinema Classic currently on Netflix

David bowie is a god and needs to have a Daytime Courtroom drama where he doles out Swift & Fierce Walkoffs of Justice.

Attitude is everything, especially when you and your Archenemy are both Rocking Snakeskin.

It's okay to unplug, and wear dope fuzzy sweaters.

Friendtime is Crucial, Seatbelts are Not. 

Sometimes you just need to Let Go and Let Hansel

Life isn't all about how you look, but have a good Selfie Face ready at all times.

Will Ferrel is Creepy as Fvck. 


Until we are graced with this Epic Sequel, Shop Our Zoolander Looks

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Record Player / / Six Best Things about The Girls Finale

 

Marnie Stops Acting like A Complete Idiot: I get into my Desi Loathing later, but it was really awesome to see Marnie stop being soooooooo laaaame. I love the Ray/Marnie relationship story, even though I really can't figure out why he likes her so much..it would probably be the best thing that ever happened to her personality. Lets hope Desi is gone for good. 

Jessa Dosent at like a Total Bitch the Entire Episode: I get that Jessa has been through some shit, but she was pretty terrible this season. But there was a glimpse of the old wise fun Jessa from long ago when she gets in that bathtub and looks into the vagina of another woman. You always know she's ride or die, and you have to love that about her. 

Shoshana Leans In: So rad that Shoshana takes the Tokyo job. She continues to be one of the most admirable, brave & fashionable characters in the show. Can't wait to see what she's wearing next season in Tokyo & what hilarious catch phrase she will have me obsessed with. 

Someone Finally Called Desi A Douche: Desi is such a Fuckboii. He is the absolute worst type of dude. I've seriously been waiting for this moment since he ride away on his Triumph with an acoustic slung over his chemically distressed leather jacket. The Speech totally solidified Ray as serious imaginary BF material. We need more snarky gentlemen in the world. 

Hannah Says No: We all know that when someone you've loved wants you back, there is definitely that second when it all rushes back to you and its all sunny afternoons and steamy smooching sessions. But when push comes to shove they are your ex for a reason. Never treat someone who treats you like a Monday Morning like a Saturday Night, and don't let Adam come back just because he asked. This is a rare smart Hannah move. 

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Six Months Later: To Quote my Girl T Swizzle...'Boys only want Love if its Torture'. Proof that the crazier you act, the more a dude will dig you. I know, it makes zero sense, but I've tested this, and it works. Hannah let this guy see her at her most vulnerable, and thats the most ballsy risky move ever but when it pays off its the best. Hopefully it works out for her with this guy and maybe this is a step in the right direction, maybe not. But thats what Lena does best, slowly reins us in until giving us just enough of what we wanted and just enough surprise to keep us waiting until next year. She can't promise perfection, but she can promise intrigue and whether she meant it or not, that line perfectly sums up this season.

Verdict: Still Hooked

Here's Some HOC Looks that Will Hold You Over Until Next Season


Thanks to our Contributor Ange for this Post!

Angela works as HOC's Marketing Director. When she's not hovering over the Instagram, she enjoys manicures, taking pictures of clouds & getting white girl wasted while watching Bill Murray movies. Currently doing important Mobwife related research at the Jersey Shore.

Follow her Journey Here

 

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Record Player / / Florence + The Machine

We are Loving the New Teaser Video for the upcoming Florence + The Machine album...How Big How Blue How Beautiful, expected out in June. Who wouldn't want to lounge and fight with your doppleganger all day in that dreamy amphitheater setting?

Check out the video below!

The First Song off the Album 'What Kind of Man' As usual dramatic feels and flowy dresses mixed with haunting vocals...everything we expect from Florence! 



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Record Player / / Bad Bitch Sia

 

We've been playing Sia's 1000 Forms of Fear on repeat all week. If you're a fan of Bad Bitch Girl Anthems then you'll totally dig it. Sia has been a behind the scenes heavy hitter songwriter for years, writing countless #1 singles like 'Pretty Hurts' for Beyonce and 'Diamonds for Rhianna. She's been releasing solo albums for years, all which are worth a Spotify Streaming Session. The recent single that we've already been silently belting through our headphones on the commute home are there, along with slower more powerful jams like Eye of the Needle and Straight for The Knife paired with Power Ballads not as overdramatic, as say, Adele but just as soulful. Favorites include Fair Game, Elastic Heart & Dressed in Black

You've probably already seen this, because be real, who hasn't, but still worth another watch, 

Great album for ringing in the first few weeks of the New Year and Remembering that you're a Bad Bitch who will Accomplish ALL this Year!!! Have a Listen Below!


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Record Player / / November Rain

So the weather totally sucks, its Rainy and Cold and Miserable...Welcome to Winter! Sometimes there's just nothing to do but Power Ballad the Shit out of a Day like this, so today we let out our Metal Hair and watched this video for Guns and Roses November Rain

Can we just take a minute to bow down to Slash, most def our MCM and sexy as hell in this video? We kind of feel like our mothers, but we don't even care...officially crushing on Slash, hard. 

Seriously though, its glorious.